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10 Essential Traits for a Happy Life

Can you build a better character? Absolutely, say proponents of positive psychology. You are likely to be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled if you become aware of the work toward enhancing your signature qualities.

There are 10 of the 24 traits outlined in Character Strengths and Virtues (Oxford Press, 2004). See which ones apply to you and how you can make the most of them.


  1. Love of learning
    A fervor for acquiring new skills, satisfying curiosity, and building on knowledge.

    Follow your inquisitiveness. Make a list of three things you enjoy or value, and choose one you'd like to know more about or be better at. Having a practical purpose can be a big motivator. Always wanted to learn Italian? Sign up for a language course, and plan to reward yourself with a trip overseas so you can put your new skill to use.

  2. Creativity
    A flair for producing something new, surprising, or unusual.

    The key is to let your inhibitions go. Whether you try painting, writing, playing music, or dancing, do it with a playful spirit. Also try new things just for the fun of it, and don't judge your work.

  3. Humility and modesty
    Recognizing the true measure of your abilities and achievements and appreciating those of others.

    Write down the names of three friends you most admire, then list the traits your most appreciate in them. Put a plus sign beside the characteristics you share and a minus sign beside those your wish you had.

  4. Humor
    The ability to find something to laugh at even in times of trouble, and a knack for helping others does the same.

    What a funny movie or your favorite sitcom. Read an amusing book. Laugh at yourself by identifying three of your goofiest quirks and describing them in a journal.

  5. Persistence
    The strength to work toward a goal in the face of obstacles, difficulties, or discouragement.

    If you've tried and failed at something that matters to you-whether it's losing weight or keeping resolutions-think about what didn't work and how to do better next time. Research shows that people who take responsibility for both their successes and failures are most likely to persevere.

  6. Gratitude
    A sense of thankfulness.

    Instead of counting sheep when the lights go out, count your blessings. Think of three things you are grateful for that happened during the day: a friendly word, good news at work, any small success. Set aside a few minutes once a week to give thanks for what you've got.

  7. Forgiveness
    The capacity for letting go of hurt and anger.

    Write a forgiveness letter. First, think about someone who hurt you in the past and the anger you feel at the memory of what happened. Then write a letter explaining your feelings and stating that you forgive the person. Do not send the letter-just the act of writing the letter, experts say, will jump-start the healing process.

  8. Appreciation of beauty and excellence
    The ability to recognize and take pleasure in the good things in life.

    Stop and smell the roses - literally, if there happens to be a garden in bloom near-by. Set aside a morning or afternoon to do nothing but savour something. Walk in the woods, listen to music you love, or visit an art gallery.

  9. Spirituality
    The belief in a transcendent dimension of life.

    You don't have to go to church to tap your spiritual side. Devote 10 minutes a day to meditation, first thing in the morning or just before bed. This can be prayer or simply quiet contemplation that allows you to go beyond yourself.

  10. Vitality
    A feeling of energy and aliveness.

    Get up, do something. Nothing enhances a sense of vitality more than physical activity, especially one you love. Even an exhausting gym workout can be exhilarating. Don't like the gym? Go for a hike, a bike ride through the park, or do a circuit of the neighborhood.


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Copyright 2006 Barbara Mulski Counselling Services      604-537-5575      contact@barbaramulskicounselling.com